Yesterday I wrote to you about our upcoming Purity Retreat and our desire to help our students understand the importance of purity in their thoughts and language. There is another aspect of purity that we will be addressing next week—the wise development and control of our affections. This is closely connected with one of the social standards that makes Heritage somewhat different from many other schools: we do not permit dating or exclusive romantic relationships among our students.
It is important to understand what we are encouraging. Our school bulletin states, “The formation of true Christian friendship is an important part of Christian education.” We want our young men and young women to know one another, talk together, work together, worship together, and develop wholesome friendships. In fact, our bulletin says that “there is no better place than a Christian campus for developing friendships.” At the same time, we deliberately provide opportunities for group association rather than exclusive relationships, dating, or going steady.
The reason is not that we believe romantic feelings are wrong. They are a natural part of growing toward adulthood. The question is when and how those affections should be cultivated. Ellen White gives this counsel:
“The young affections should be restrained until the period arrives when sufficient age and experience will make it honorable and safe to unfetter them. Those who will not be restrained will be in danger of dragging out an unhappy existence. A youth not yet out of his teens is a poor judge of the fitness of a person as young as himself to be his companion for life.” — Messages to Young People, p. 452.
Our bulletin therefore explains that “the chief purpose of dating is to find a suitable marriage partner.”—Heritage Academy School Bulletin, p. 42. Dating makes sense when a young person has reached the maturity to think seriously about marriage. The academy years, however, are particularly valuable years for developing character, learning self-control, forming a personal relationship with Christ, and learning how to relate appropriately to many different people without becoming absorbed in an exclusive romantic relationship. This is consistent with the larger purpose of Heritage Academy. Our educational philosophy emphasizes the God-given ability to think, choose, and act, with Christian education seeking the restoration of the image of God and the development of the mind of Christ.—Heritage Academy School Bulletin, p. 5.
This is one reason next week’s Purity Retreat is important. We do not simply want students to obey rules because adults are watching them. We want them to understand the principles behind those rules and, ultimately, to govern themselves. The bulletin quotes Ellen White’s counsel that students should possess “that degree of self-control and strength of religious principle” that enables them to stand for Christ wherever they are.—Heritage Academy School Bulletin, p. 42. Purity involves more than physical boundaries. It includes learning to surrender our thoughts, words, emotions, and affections to Christ.
Our schedule next week has been intentionally arranged to give our young men and young women separate opportunities for fellowship and spiritual growth. Sunday, August 30 through Tuesday, September 1, the boys will participate in the Boys’ Campout, while the girls attend their Purity Retreat at a lodge in Pigeon Forge. On Tuesday, September 1, they will switch locations: the boys will go to the lodge for their Purity Retreat, while the girls will have their campout. We hope that these days will provide not only recreation and good memories, but also opportunities for thoughtful conversations about becoming the Christian men and women God is calling them to be.
Thank you for entrusting your young people to us and for partnering with us in their education. At Heritage, we believe education involves much more than what happens in the classroom. Academics are only one part of the larger work of developing the whole person. Our vocational, spiritual, and social programs are also intentionally designed to develop Christian character and prepare young people for life and service. Our social standards are part of that education. We want our students to learn to value one another as brothers and sisters in Christ and to develop the self-control, character, and maturity that will someday enable them, in God's time, to build strong and happy Christian homes.
Doug Baker,
Heritage Academy Principal